R: Private Eye
by La Epster
Summary: Rated just to be on the safe side. Enjolras is murdered and Grantaire has to solve the murder. EnjolrasGrantaire. COMPLETE. Please no flames.
1. Chapter 1

R: Private Eye  
  
A/N / Disclaimer for whole fan fiction: I don't own Les Miserables. Please review but no flames.  
  
Chapter one.  
  
Enjolras pulled his coat close to him. He walked in the snow to his apartment. He came to an unfamiliar street and realized he was lost. He looked around. This was all Grantaire's fault. If he hadn't have stalled him at the café, he would've gotten home before the snow started. Enjolras realized too late that he should've been paying attention. He turned around to see a man with a dark hood. The man raised a knife and before Enjolras could react, the man plunged it into him. He fell to the ground. His life force was ebbing. The man ran away. Enjolras looked out into the street to see one final figure.  
  
"Grantaire!" 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two  
  
Grantaire saw Enjolras laying in the street. He staggered toward him.  
  
"Enjolras?" Grantaire asked. He grabbed a stick that was on the ground and proceeded to poke him with it. "Enjolras?" Grantaire decided to kick him gently with his boot. "Enjolras? Hey, Enjolras! Wake up."  
  
Grantaire kicked him over and saw Enjolras' eyes wide open. He saw the blood on his shirt and gagged. He backed away all of the way to his flat and passed out.  
  
The next day Grantaire made the somber walk to the café. Maybe what he saw was just his imagination or an absinthe dream. He walked in and sat at his usual table. Joly and Lesgle entered the café and saw Grantaire. His face was ashen. He looked as though he had not slept. He looked up at them.  
  
"Have either of you seen Enjolras?"  
  
Joly looked at him. His usually cheerful expression was absent.  
  
"Yes. He was..."  
  
"So it wasn't an absinthe dream... my Apollo is gone."  
  
Grantaire collapsed onto the table and began sobbing. Joly and Lesgle pulled up chairs and sat next to him.  
  
"Don't cry, Grantaire... I'm sure he died nobly," Lesgle whispered.  
  
"It's not that... It's just that if I had not been distracting him and telling him to stay, he would've not been killed."  
  
"You don't know how long he was dead."  
  
"He called out to me before he died... I thought it was just a dream."  
  
As the rest of Les Amis filtered in, they all shared the same expression. Gavroche had seen Enjolras when he first woke up and ran to tell everyone. He had Enjolras' body hidden away. Combeferre tried to lead the meeting. Grantaire left early to his flat. He laid down on his bed and wept. After two hours, he cried himself to sleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three  
  
Grantaire was awakened extremely early in the morning.  
  
"Grantaire! Grantaire! Winecask, wake up!"  
  
Grantaire looked up. The voice was familiar but it couldn't be. He looked up and froze in terror.  
  
"Enjolras?"  
  
"Yes, Grantaire. I've been watching you."  
  
"Oh, Enjolras. I'm so sorry."  
  
"It's okay, winecask. There is something you have to do for me. Then maybe I can live once more."  
  
"Can I get in your pants?"  
  
"You do know I'm dead. Right?"  
  
"Well, I kinda got the hint when I was poking you with the stick and you didn't yell at me."  
  
Enjolras glared at Grantaire.  
  
"You said you would live once more."  
  
"Yes, but-"  
  
"So if I succeed in what you want me to do, I should be entitled to a reward."  
  
"I guess, but-"  
  
"So I want to get in your pants."  
  
Enjolras thought to himself that maybe Grantaire was not a good person to ask. He had no other choice though. Besides, what were the chances that the drunkard would succeed?  
  
"Okay, Grantaire. If you succeed, you can get in my pants. Now I need you to find the man who killed me and bring him to justice."  
  
"Then I can get in your pants?"  
  
"Yes Grantaire. You can get in my pants."  
  
"Good. Now let me get ready to solve your murder."  
  
Grantaire ran to a dresser and pulled out a complete Sherlock Holmes outfit. Enjolras gave him a look. Grantaire put on the outfit and grabbed out a giant magnifying glass.  
  
"How will you solve the case using that?"  
  
"Elementary, my dear Enjolras, elementary."  
  
Enjolras groaned. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
  
Grantaire walked into the café the next day. He was wearing his Sherlock Holmes outfit. Combeferre was the first to notice him.  
  
"Grantaire?"  
  
"Quiet, dear Combeferre. I am looking for clues," Grantaire said in a British accent.  
  
Combeferre gave him a look and then sat at his usual table. The rest of Les Amis filtered in. Grantaire was examining everyone with the magnifying glass in the same manner as Joly when he examined his tongue. Every so often, he would pull out a pipe and puff on it into someone's face. Suddenly, a man walked in. He had dark hair and striking blue eyes. He wore a maroon vest that closely resembled Enjolras'. Grantaire gave him a suspicious look.  
  
"Bonjour. I was sent by my late cousin, Jacques Enjolras. He told me to take over leadership of Les Amis De'L ABC."  
  
"What is your name?" Feuilly asked.  
  
"Jean-Marc Enjolras."  
  
As the meeting progressed, Grantaire scribbled in his little notebook. His page was covered with pictures of him and Enjolras holding hands, kissing, doing stuff they shouldn't.  
  
"Get on the case, Grantaire," Enjolras said in his head.  
  
That night, Grantaire decided to follow Jean-Marc home. He saw him enter his flat. On the table, there was a glinting of silver. He started to go in when the door slammed in his face. Grantaire turned and walked to the window. He looked in. He wrote down on his notebook: "Suspect number un: Jean Marc Enjolras. Relationship: Cousin. Motive: ?" 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
Grantaire woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror.  
  
"Enjolras. I need your help."  
  
There was no answer. Grantaire sighed and got dressed. He walked out the door and saw Jean-Marc walking down the street. Grantaire decided to follow him. He watched him turn a corner. There was a man holding a sack. He saw Jean-Marc approach the man.  
  
"Did you do it?"  
  
"Yes. Now as for my pay?"  
  
"Here is 200 francs. Has anyone caught on?"  
  
"No one. Maybe the drunk but no one believes him anyway."  
  
Grantaire watched the man with the sack.  
  
"I will give you more money if you dispose of the rest of them. The National Guard cannot have these rebels in our midst. I want you to befriend one of them and then do the same to him."  
  
Grantaire gasped. Jean-Marc was the murderer... and one of the others was next. Grantaire decided to assemble his "crime solving friends". He pulled out a conch horn and blew into it. Gavroche, Eponine, and Azelma came out of an alley way holding their ears.  
  
"Whaddaya want, drunkard?" Eponine growled.  
  
"Enjolras, leader of Les Amis De'L ABC was murdered. We have to nab his killer."  
  
"Who did it?" Azelma asked.  
  
"I am under the suspicion that his cousin, Jean-Marc Enjolras was responsible. We need to gather evidence to show to the rest of Les Amis because he will try to kill again... he is an assassin for the National Guard."  
  
Eponine gasped thinking about Marius. What if he was next?  
  
"We need to act now and we need a diversion. Eponine, since you're the oldest, you will be the diversion. Now I have makeup at home. I will also give you my fancy dress. I need you to lure Jean-Marc out of his home for two hours. In that time, Azelma, Gavroche, and I will gather evidence."  
  
"So let me get this straight. You want me to lure a potentially dangerous man away from his house for two hours while you are inside, safely gathering evidence?"  
  
There was no answer because Eponine was now alone on the street. She saw Grantaire, Gavroche, and Azelma heading towards Grantaire's flat. She chased after them bemoaning the fact that this was in no way, a good idea. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six  
  
Grantaire put on the finishing touches of Eponine's makeup as she stood in a slightly revealing red dress. She scowled in the mirror.  
  
"I hate dresses. I hate makeup. I hate being a diversion. I hate-"  
  
"Sis, this is for a worthy cause. If Grantaire succeeds, Enjolras will come back to life and Grantaire can get in his pants," Gavroche stated.  
  
Eponine folded her arms.  
  
"Now you just have to act seductive. Watch me!" Grantaire exclaimed. He then began to strut about the room in a very feminine way ending with wrapping his leg around a coat hanger. "Hey baby. Why don't we head under the bridge and-" Eponine shuddered.  
  
"Grantaire. I will do this for you if you never EVER do THAT again," Eponine growled.  
  
With in an hour, Eponine was outside Jean-Marc's apartment. She knocked on the door. When Jean-Marc opened the door, he saw the eerily beautiful Eponine.  
  
"Monsieur. I just came from Montfermeil and I was wondering if you could show me around?"  
  
Jean-Marc immediately grabbed Eponine and dragged her down the street showing her everything. Grantaire, Azelma, and Gavroche snuck into his apartment. They looked around and Gavroche saw the knife. Enjolras' blood was still on it. Gavroche grabbed it with his shirt.  
  
"Grantaire. I have the murder weapon."  
  
Grantaire saw a note on the table from a National Guardsman. It was the note asking for Enjolras' murder. Suddenly, the door swung open. Eponine stood in the doorway.  
  
"He's coming back! He tried to do horrible things to me. Run!"  
  
They cleared the house just as Jean-Marc entered the room. He looked around and saw that his knife was gone. He growled. He would catch that drunkard and kill him. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven  
  
Grantaire arrived at the café for the meeting. He saw Jean-Marc leading the students.  
  
"Mon amis! You are being led by an imposter. He is Enjolras' murderer!"  
  
Jean-Marc gave Grantaire a glare.  
  
"Winecask! Silence and cease telling your lies."  
  
The whole café was silent as Grantaire looked at Jean-Marc with tears forming in his eyes.  
  
"HE used to call me that. The man you took from me." Grantaire left the café in silence.  
  
When Grantaire got to his apartment, he lay on the bed and wept. No one believed him. Now Enjolras would never let Grantaire get in his pants. Enjolras appeared.  
  
"Grantaire? Grantaire."  
  
"Oh, Enjolras. They don't believe me! How can I avenge your death?"  
  
"Grantaire. Make Jean-Marc tell the truth."  
  
Grantaire sat up.  
  
"I have the truth telling potion, too!  
  
The next day, Grantaire came into the café and saw Jean-Marc. He looked at Grantaire. On his table was a glass of wine. Grantaire sat down across from Jean-Marc.  
  
"Hey, I just was wondering if you could proof a paper for me," Grantaire said. He handed him a paper that was badly written. Grantaire watched as Jean-Marc was absorbed in his paper. He pulled out a flask and poured a green liquid into the wine glass. Jean-Marc reached for it and took a long drink. He asked for more wine and a waitress poured for him. Grantaire poured more of the flask into the wine while Jean-Marc wasn't looking. The rest of Les Amis began to filter in. Jean-Marc came to a sentence that read: "Enjolras died peacefully in his sleep."  
  
"That'sh not true. I killed Enjolrash. He was top of the lisht for the National Guard. I shtabbed him in the chesht when I followed him home! I wash Enjolrash's killer. He didn't die in hish shleep." Jean-Marc slurred.  
  
The rest of Les Amis stared at him. Combeferre lowered his head. Bahorel grabbed Jean-Marc and threw him to the ground. Grantaire left the café proudly. The next day he was definitely getting in Enjolras' pants... Thanks to absinthe. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight  
  
Grantaire awoke early to hear "Taps" being played on the flute. He ran down his stairs and out to a green where he saw Les Amis standing around something. Grantaire ran to them and saw Combeferre sprinkling ashes. He looked down and saw a marker with Enjolras' name. Grantaire began to sob. There would be no getting into pants ever. Jean Prouvaire touched his arm.  
  
"Don't cry Grantaire. He's in a better place now."  
  
"But I want to be there too."  
  
Grantaire saw Enjolras' vest in Combeferre's arms.  
  
"You deserve it more than I, Grantaire."  
  
Grantaire took Enjolras' vest and cried softly into it. He walked slowly back to his flat. He sat down and held Enjolras' vest. He looked in the mirror. He saw, next to it, his crime solving notebook. He grabbed it and looked at it. He saw his pictures of him and Enjolras. He began to rip out each page. Suddenly, there was a knock at his door.  
  
"Come in," Grantaire groaned.  
  
Grantaire looked down and heard footsteps approaching the bed. He felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Come on, winecask. Don't cry."  
  
Grantaire looked up and realized he was staring into the striking blue eyes of Enjolras. He touched his hand to see if Enjolras was real.  
  
"Are you? Did I?"  
  
"Yes, Grantaire. You succeeded."  
  
Grantaire and Enjolras stared into each other's eyes. Enjolras leaned down and kissed Grantaire.  
  
Meanwhile, Eponine, Gavroche, and Azelma were watching through the window.  
  
"Isn't that so cute."  
  
"Good job, Gavroche. Your plan really worked to get them together."  
  
"How did you do it?"  
  
"I asked Montparnasse to stab him but not to kill him. I made the owner of the café send Grantaire away. When Grantaire saw Enjolras and backed away. I took Enjolras, bandaged him, and told him of my plan. Enjolras was very much for it for he had always liked Grantaire but hid his affection. I told him that he had to pretend he was a ghost and tell Grantaire to avenge his death and he would let Grantaire sleep with him. Well, Montparnasse was Jean-Marc Enjolras and he played the part very well. The National Guardsman was actually Enjolras. I told the rest of Les Amis what happened after Bahorel beat up Montparnasse and Grantaire left. Then they took ashes out of the fireplace to act like Enjolras was cremated. Then Enjolras was told to wait until the right time."  
  
The threesome watched in the window. Suddenly, Eponine's eyes widened and she covered Azelma's and Gavroche's eyes quickly while closing her own and shuddering.  
  
That night, Grantaire and Enjolras lay side by side.  
  
"How did you know it was my cousin, mon cher?" Enjolras asked while twisting Grantaire's dark hair around his finger.  
  
"T'was simple deduction, my dear Enjolras. It was really quite Elementary, my dear," Grantaire said in his fake British accent.  
  
Enjolras hit Grantaire playfully with his pillow. 


End file.
